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I'm jealous and mistrustful to my boyfriend

Questions:

Dear Network Doctor,

I suffer from violent jealousy, and this has repeatedly caused me problems in my relationships, including the relationship that I am in now. I have just moved with my girlfriend, who is a very nice, charming and sweet guy and very popular with the girls, where he also has some of a lively past.

I walk around and am really sorry for it, both mentally and physically. When he's out, my thoughts run around what he can do, who he's with, etc. Little things I interpret as a sign that he's hiding something, for example, if he erases his text messages. I'm looking for - unfortunately - in between his mobile phone's message inbox to check him out. I also check his mail to see if there should be anything, and even though it has not been so far, I'll be on. I can not just beat these thoughts and rely on him, as often advised.

Is there no other treatment available? Perhaps hypnosis?

Sincerely, one asks.

Reply:

Dear asks,

Thank you for letters, where you write that you are so bothered by jealousy. You're so lucky to be a boyfriend with a charming guy, and even though he does not go out with other girls, you still suspect it.

But you may risk losing him if you continue to check his cell phone and anything else. My advice to you is that instead of thinking much about what he does, turning your attention to yourself and doing something for your own personal development. Often, jealousy is associated with lack of self-esteem that you do not feel that you can live up to the one you love. It is therefore important that you care for yourself - your body, your work and your hobbies.

You may have the pleasure of joining a psychologist who is trained as hypnotherapoeut.

I can suggest you to call: Annalise Rust, tel. 38 33 22 12, who can either have you in treatment or refer you to another hypnotherapist...

I wish you good luck with it.

The best greetings

Birgitte Winkel

Relationship therapist.


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