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I'm very sad because of my family - how do I get on?


I am a woman of 32. What I want to ask is when are you sad and when do you need help? I do not want to obscure my own doctor with something that might just be nothing. It's hard to explain.

I live far from my family, which I feel closely linked to, and I worry very much that they have problems. Only when I moved home 2 years ago, I realized that my father is alcoholic and has always been. I have never talked to him about it, even though we can talk about everything else. My mother always tells me how hard it is to live with him because of the economy and mood swings. They seem bored, but claim something else. My 32-year-old sister has just been diagnosed as "depressive" and goes to psychiatrists. She has completely stalled and does nothing, lives with our grandmother, has no self-confidence or independence. It hurts me so much. My little sister of 20 got bulimia after I moved. It's like it's my fault because I could not take care of her and still can not. She is doing well now after she received psychological help. But my younger brother of 16 does not eat anything and is very underweight but has not been to the doctor. I even broke my leg for about half a year ago, and it broke up again for about 9 weeks ago. Since I broke my leg for the first time, everything has seemed so desperate, I'm giving way up.

I often cry out that I miss my family and that they are not good, sometimes I cry of self-pity because I can not cope with anything (my study, my work, cleanup and many little things that have gotten up in my head). And again, I cry for no reason. As a rule, I can not sleep because I think and care so much. It's as if a sadness has lived in me, some days I'm very comfortable and on other days it's all a bug. It's as if I'm on hold, only when I'm finished, my life starts right. I'm caught here until that day.

I'm thinking about having a child, so I would feel my life started, but it does not work either. When I'm really bad, I can not stand myself, I'm the only one who does not really know anything, and I'm wrong. There is no reason for self-pity. Sometimes I think if it's my father's fault - but he can not blame for everything!

What can a doctor do for me too? I tell my girlfriend all this over four years and he helps me even if he does not understand. I think he's the only one who knows I'm not comfortable when I'm with my friends, I'm happy and funny. I hope you can answer me, because I do not know who else I can ask. Even though I can talk to my family about everything, I can not tell them this.


There is nothing strange in that you are bad at times. You carry all the badmies of all your family members on your shoulders. You have moved home, and now you obviously think that you would have been able to help them if you were nearby but you can not. Your father must be helped with his drinking by a reasonable person or through anonymous alcoholics, if that association exists where he lives. Your brother is going to a psychologist, so his eating disorders do not work out, and the last thing you must know helps when it helps your sister.

Your big sister, you write, get help, but why not you. I think you should talk to your doctor and explain your situation so that you can also be referred to a specialist who can help you before you go down with the flag seriously. Your boyfriend may not even listen to your pity in time and expiration. It just would not be that he also went away from you. NOW, you really need to take care of yourself and do something about it all. At the same time, I have to tell you that the last one can help is his family and nobody can demand that you save the whole world.

Yours sincerely

Karen Zimsen

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